


The Taming of the Stupid

by purpleeyesandbowties



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Hermann and Newt play gay chicken, M/M, and it gets slightly out of hand, the closest to smut I am capable of writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleeyesandbowties/pseuds/purpleeyesandbowties
Summary: Two stubborn assholes let a series of dares escalate and it’s their own damn fault.





	The Taming of the Stupid

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a play on The Taming is the Shrew because of course it is. I’m sidras-tak on tumblr!

Geiszler was the center of attention, once again. He’d pulled some foolhardy trick during a dissection that morning and emerged from that adventure with a fairly impressive chemical burn cutting across both the floor and his left arm. Hermann had returned from his coffee break to find the lab smoking slightly and Geiszler scowling over a throughly dissected Kaiju organ of undetermined origin, wearing a fresh armful of bandages. The story was getting a lot of milage with the techs he spent his lunch hour with. Hermann had no desire to sit next to him and hear the greatly-embellished story (again), and he was even less inclined when he heard Tendo crow, “Balls of steel, Newt! You subdued a fucking Kaiju tongue!”

“Yeah, if only I could tame my lab partner,” Geiszler joked and Hermann abruptly redirected himself to an empty table with earshot (and eyeshot) of Geiszler’s table. “He hasn’t stopped yelling at me since this morning.”

Tendo laughed. “You might have deserved that, my friend.”

“Yeah, maybe, but I swear he’s still planning on murdering me in my sleep tonight for wrecking his side of the lab. Some of the Kaiju-Blue ate one of his blackboards. I bet his cane is secretly a sword in disguise and he’s gonna chop my head off with it.”

“Oh, come on, where did those steel balls go? If you can tame a Kaiju tongue, you can tame a grumpy Hermann.”

“And how would you suggest I do that? I’ve already tried being nice to him. That didn’t work, and neither did being mean to him. I’m out of options.”

Something mischievous crossed Tendo’s face. “You know, when I met Allison, she hated my guts. But I won her over eventually.”

“Really? How?”

He waggled his eyebrows. “You have to seduce him, man.”

“What? No!”

“Come on, don’t be a wimp. I dare you to….ask him out. Right now.”

“Good lord, are we in middle school?” Hermann muttered to himself, and was surprised to hear Geiszler echo his words exactly.

“And anyway,” Geiszler continued, quieter now, and Hermann had to struggle to hear. “There’s no way in hell he’d say yes. I’d bet on it.”

“I’ll take that action,” Tendo said cheerfully. “And if you’re so sure, you’ve got nothing to lose and…say, $100 to gain.”

To prove his point, he pulled some crumpled bills from his wallet and waved them at Geiszler.

The others at the table started in, throwing out encouragements and teasing him in equal measure. Geiszler’s face grew redder and redder until he stood up suddenly, slamming his hands against the metal of the table. The cafeteria looked over at him as one, and he blushed deeper. Once most people lost interest and looked away, he muttered, “fine.”

He shoved his tray away and stood up, attempting to straighten his hopeless tie and smooth down his hair, and failing on both accounts. He marched over to Hermann, who rose to meet him. 

“Go out with me,” Geiszler said loudly. His buddies at the tech table giggled, and one even whooped out loud.

Hermann took a deep breath and plastered on the fake, menacing smile that got him through two thesis defenses and several job interviews.

“Of course, Newton,” he simpered. “I thought you would never ask.”

Geiszler’s face fell instantly. Hermann hooked his arm around Geiszler’s waist and drew him closer. He murmured, “I know that you do not have the $100 you now owe Tendo. If you’d like to borrow it from me, you may. With interest, of course.”

He lifted his eyebrows and pushed Geiszler away. As gracefully as he could, he picked up his tray and walked away.

“I’ll see you at 8:00 tonight,” he called back to Geiszler, who was standing stock-still with his mouth slightly ajar. “Don’t be late.”

—

Hermann wasn’t stupid. He knew this was a prank, a game of chicken. He also knew that he was too stubborn to give up so easily. If Geiszler decided he wanted to stretch this facade on, Hermann would willingly go with him, and one-up him at every opportunity. So that’s why when Geiszler walked into the lab after an extended lunch break, Hermann greeted him with a purred, “welcome back,” and light tap on his behind. Geiszler jumped like he’d been bitten by a Kaiju.

“What the fuck!” he shrieked.

“Oh, I apologize, Geiszler,” Hermann said dryly, stepping back and leaning against his desk. “I thought you wanted to…what was it? Subdue me? Tame me? Or was it _seduce_ me?”

“Ok, point made,” Geiszler grumbled, sitting down backwards in his own desk chair. “I need to speak quieter.”

“No, Geiszler, that is not the point,” Hermann said. He tapped his cane on the ground impatiently. “The point is that you have no problem using me as fodder for your gossip group. The point is that you planned to publicly humiliate me by asking me out as a joke in front of our peers.”

He muttered, “Thankfully, I have some practice with that…particular prank.”

That last part he hadn’t really planned on saying out loud, so he didn’t give Geiszler time to dwell on it. Instead, he said, “you were fortunate that it was something so innocent Mr. Choi dared you to do. You were able to accept without injuring your pride too greatly.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t have any pride to injure!” Geiszler demanded, falling back into their old habit of fighting even when they didn’t need to. 

“On that we can agree,” Hermann said dryly. Geiszler flushed.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Okay, if you’re so big and tough, would you have accepted the dare?”

“Oh, yes, if it was to make you look the fool, gladly.”

“Fine! Then I dare you to go out with me for real!”

“I thought I had already agreed to that. 8:00 tonight, remember? You better have something spectacular in mind. I would hate to be disappointed and report back to Mr. Choi that you didn’t take his dare seriously.”

Geiszler growled in frustration. “Fine, I dare you to wear that stupid tweed suit on our date! The one that’s too small now and has a rip in the pants.”

“Done,” Hermann said cooly, allowing himself to indulge in the childish battle yet again. “I dare you to wear your tie correctly.”

“Easy,” Geiszler crowed, and expertly redid his tie. “Just because I _don’t_ wear my tie right doesn’t mean I _can’t._ ”

He cast his eyes around the lab, finally landing on a squishy segment of Kaiju tongue, the one that burned him that morning.

“I dare you to touch my tongue!” he said triumphantly.

Hermann hesitated for just a second. He really didn’t feel like risking a chemical burn today, not when he had some important calculations he really needed to get back to. Instead, he grabbed Geiszler’s collar, hauling him in and kissing him roughly. Geiszler’s mouth fell open in surprise. Hermann took advantage of the moment to shove his tongue in Geiszler’s mouth in the worst imitation of a french kiss he’d ever done. He pulled away just as quickly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You did not specify which tongue or how,” he informed Geiszler crisply. Geiszler looked like the world had just imploded on itself, leaving him the one and only survivor. It wasn’t the most attractive look on him. Hermann scoffed.

“I dare you to get over your pitiful existential crisis and kiss me back,” he said, ready to claim victory at last. He didn’t expect the hand that wrapped around his neck and dragged his mouth back over to Geiszler’s. He kissed back because he didn’t know what else to do. He kissed back because the tension between them had been building for too long with no release and this was just as good as a punch in the face. He kissed back because it had been a while since the last warm body pressed against his. He kissed back because he wanted to kiss Geiszler, dammit, and had for a while.

“Fuck,” Geiszler muttered, his lips still smushed into Hermann’s. 

“Quite,” Hermann said back, and hauled Geiszler closer again. Geiszler responded by grabbing his ass and Hermann made a small noise of surprise. Geiszler pulled back, his breath hot and humid against Herman’s cheek. His eyes clear and bright, he said, “I dare you suck my di—”

Geiszler’s voice cut off abruptly as Hermann’s hand brushed over the object in question.

“There’s no need to be vulgar, Newton,” he said. He slipped his fingers into Newton’s waistband.

“Jesus, Herm.”

Hermann made quick work of Newton’s belt buckle and fly, shoving his hand fully into the tight black jeans. Hermann cut off Newton’s strangled yelp with a harsh kiss. When he disengaged, he said, “I dare you to stay _silent_.” 

Newton nodded. “Yeah, sure, man, whatever, as long as you keep doing that.”

Hermann’s hand instantly stilled. Newton groaned. 

“Silent,” Hermann reminded him. Newton actually mimed zipping his lips and throwing the key away. Hermann rolled his eyes, but no more sound came from Newton, so he counted it as a win. He gently pushed Newton until he hit Hermann’s desk and sat down hard on it. Hermann crawled into his lap, undoing his own pants as he went.

Newton made a strangled, wordless sound. Hermann took them both in his hand, enjoying the rough pull and drag of skin against skin. Newton, however, made a sound that was more pain than pleasure, so he stopped. Ignoring his bad leg, he climbed down off Newton’s lap and lowered himself to his knees.

He must have grunted in pain, because Newton broke his silence. “Shit, Hermann, your leg. You don’t have to—”

“Shut up and let me do this,” Hermann said. When Newton didn’t respond, he looked up. Newton was looking back at him, concern clear in his eyes. Hermann felt his face soften from his grimace of pain, if only to reassure Newton. “I _want_ to do this,” he assured him. “Trust me.” Newton relaxed again.

“I trust you,” he said softly. “Just as long as you let me return the favor later.”

“That would be quite agreeable,” Hermann said, and, absurdly, they shared a genuine smile. As if they weren’t hate-fucking on a dare in their lab on a random Tuesday in the middle of the end of the world. Above him, Newton sighed and shuddered and Hermann thought maybe it wasn’t so absurd after all.

—

Later, they sat side by side, attempting to catch up on the work that had lain, forgotten, for a distracted afternoon.

“It wasn’t a joke,” Newton said suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence.

“What?” Hermann asked. 

“Me asking you out. It wasn’t a joke. Maybe I could have done it better, yeah, but you know I don’t think things through before committing. So I saw an opportunity to finally ask you out, and I did.”

Hermann rolled his eyes but couldn’t help leaning over to steal a kiss. He pulled back before Newton could make more of it than he intended—they still had work to do, of course.

“Shut up, Newton.”


End file.
